In mid-August we had the following conversation with Amara Hapuarachchi. She is one of our main clients in Batticaloa, Sri Lanka- one of the principal areas affected by of the war.

In a country torn apart by ethnic conflict, Amara has decided to put her energies into uniting people. She has taken on the task of doing her best to help people who suffer from the violent consequences of intolerance.

PBI: How did your work begin?

Amara: I was always looking to move to working with people, just people, being with them seemed to be important to me. That led me to work with the Quakers in 1989 for 3 years, facilitating workshops in nonviolence and conflict resolution, and also getting training for myself; well, not just training, we're talking about things that will change your life. Gradually I came to feel the meaningfulness of love and fighting for your brother's rights, which is the same as fighting for your own freedom.

After that period I wanted free space to explore and find out what to do, where to go. In my search, I ended up in Batticaloa, which I felt was my place to be; I felt I must work with people directly affected by the war. My brother Nimal (a lawyer) was taking on cases of detainees from Batticaloa, through the Bar Association. I expressed my interest and he gave me some of their addresses (of 5 people), to get in touch with them. I wrote to them, saying that their cases were being looked at. I think all of them made contact with me. Then I started going to the Peace Committee in Batticaloa. We initiated the process of calling up relatives of detainees, this was in 1993. Quite a number of families came to the first meeting. They were happy because they never had the legal process explained. We also helped relatives of detainees held in Colombo prison with traveling money as a little gift.

PBI: What is your current work?

Amara: I don't work directly for anyone, I can decide what my limits and my methods are, this is an easier way for me. I am an individual who helps different organizations. Now I continue helping with legal process, to file cases. The numbers of people arrested and kept in detention have reduced, but people are still coming here to seek advice.

I also work with the Counselling Center. The time came for some detainees to be released; we knew that lots of torture had taken place. Because of the very close relationship that we had with their relatives we thought of a group process, workshops where torture survivors would come together. A few activities could help them to open out, to talk about their experience, to create that space in them, and it worked. They experienced an incredible feeling of release and acceptance, there was somebody willing to listen to them. Now we continue to have these workshops.

Since April 19 [date of the breakdown of the peace process] there was a great need to go to villages and find out what was happening there. Lots of people used to complain about harassment, beatings. One of my feelings was that maybe it would be good for them to set peace committees in their own villages. We spoke there to people, they are very frightened, they find dangerous even the fact of gathering together.

We ask whether they want to do anything about things happening. In one of the villages, people are ready and willing to set this committee, I think that will be my next step. I will go there 2 or 3 times a week just to give them motivation. We want to inform the army camps about this.

There is one other thing: I have been thinking about using nonviolence in an active way, which is very challenging. We called together a few field workers from different organizations to share ideas. We formed some kind of support group, and decided to meet again to get to know each other, to study about nonviolence, to move out in little ways when we come across some injustice.

First we have to come and share our own fears and strengthen ourselves, because we may confront some risks...

PBI: You are a Sinhalese working in an area where the only Sinhalese people are the armed forces...

Amara: Yes, but I feel accepted, I even live with Tamil speakers. It doesn't seem to trouble people. With "the forces" it is different. It's a question mark when I have to answer constantly questions about my identity card like: "you are a Sinhalese?"

Sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I answer "no, I'm a human being", you may be born into a Sinhalese speaking family, but first you are a human. There are times that I tend to avoid answering and just give a smile, there are so many prejudices behind the words Sinhalese, Tamil, Muslim, Burgher.

I have lots of contacts with Brigadiers, police officers. They seem to accept my role here, even when we talk about sensitive issues like the war or torture. I have the feeling that I have to work in the open, that all my work must be in the open, and nothing should be hidden; and that will be my security. There are times when I feel frightened to speak, but I must be open.

Sometimes the Tigers have stopped vehicles and asked whether there were any Sinhalese speaking people in them. Someone advised me not to go to certain areas unless going with some NGO. That made me feel upset. It made me feel how you can be marked for your race. I was trying to reconcile myself with these thoughts. At that time I questioned what I am doing here. I explained this in the support group and some Tamil speaking friends told me how they had traveled to the South and how frightened they were in the buses, being Tamils in a predominantly Sinhalese area. I realized then that I have to be here, that it is right, whatever the fears.

PBI: Do you sometimes feel worn out?

Amara: It's difficult, there are lots of ways to look at it. Somehow in a funny way my motivation grows by this continuous sharing, by being part of it. At the same time, especially at workshops with torture survivors, I realize that right after the workshop I'm OK, but there's some heavy feelings from which it takes some days to get rid of. I feel gloomy, bad. I feel I want to do something, and I'm trying, that's the only way not to get trapped in those feelings (anger, powerlessness, helplessness), I think I have an outlet, because I try to find a balance by doing things, acting, you know, going out, being with people. That's my way to feel better.

PBI: In what ways do you feel PBI's presence is helpful?

Amara: In many workshops, PBI has helped us with their presence. In the current situation, to get together groups of ex-detainees is a potential security threat. You never know what could happen, the participants feel very frightened of going out of their homes. When they know that PBI will be there that's about 75% of the way to relax them. They feel more secure, comfortable.

If you suddenly had a round-up, in the mind of the forces ex-detainees are LTTE, so it's a potentially dangerous situation. PBI is very helpful when I travel to outlying villages. Sometimes I feel kind of nervous, PBI helps me to relax, even if I know that the things that make me feel nervous are still there. People also relax when they see foreigners around. They know the forces will be more cautious with what they do. Your presence also gives us some more strength, courage. It may come a time when we will be able to do these things on our own. I don't see PBI as foreigners or white people, for me you are more like friends. Your informality is very useful; for instance you are willing to work with the standards of the people you work with (traveling by bus, etc.). You have a big sense of being one with the people.

You are also quite honest in how to talk about your limitations, although it takes some time for people to understand that you cannot do everything they expect. It must be difficult when you have to say no to people. People understand better when you are with them, when they see you in action.

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